“Everybody’s gotta learn sometime…” Beck

Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
I need your lovin’
Like the sunshine

Everybody’s gotta learn sometime

I have dreams. They started when I was in the hospital with my mother. I woke up out of line when the first one hit. The second one was a little more comforting. I’m not a good person, anyone who says so is either lying or mistaking me for someone else. I’m not going out to be a martyr. I don’t want people to tell me different. I’ve done some unforgivable things in my life that I never own up to. And sometimes, when I know I should, I don’t apology for my mistakes, my choices, decisions, and what not. Sometimes I act as if nothing happened and no one got hurt, betrayed, lied to.

I wish I could find comfort in the lie that people change, but I can’t do that to myself. I’m an unapologetic asshole. And the only way I’ll ever learn is if I one day I’ll wake up and find that everyone got tired of my shit.


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