People. What a bunch of bastards!

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I was an asshole last year and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna continue being an asshole this year. I mean what’s the point in changing right? Take for example the video above. Does it make me a horrible person that I find that video laugh out loud goodness? It’s not my fault that I have a dark sense of humor, but at least I didn’t put some Benny Hill music on it like some people.

Hollywood has created the stigma that all assholes, given the opportunity, will change. The other day, I watched a movie with Jyg and them with my mother called Ghost Town. I’m sure you seen it, or at least heard of it. Here’s the premise: Asshole dentist goes to the hospital for a colonoscopy and dies during the process because he opts for general anaesthesia. When he is released back into the world, he begins to see dead people, of which is another asshole who thinks his reason for being left on earth is to stop his wife from marrying a would-be asshole lawyer. He makes a deal with the dentist – if he agrees to stop the marriage then he’ll tell the other ghosts to back off. Of course, like the old golden age Hollywood premise, the asshole dentist gets a rude awakening and starts to lighten up.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the movie and suggest you go out and rent it or buy it or Netflix it – whatever floats your boat, buddy. The thing is that in a time for a new beginning, rewriting yourself (something we swear we’re gonna do every fucking New Year’s), I’ve decided that rather than trying to change myself, I’m going to attempt to perfect what I already have. Meaning?

I’m gonna be an even bigger asshole than I was last year. Happy New Year’s everyone.


2 responses to “People. What a bunch of bastards!

  1. Hey hey, sir–

    Eric Miles Williamson here.

    Normally I don’t mind being called an asshole–Hell, I probably am one. Actually, surely I am one. However, I’ve never been called one on the internet. It’s my fault that I’m an asshole, to be sure, but here’s my problem: I have four children, ranging ages 13 to 2, and I have more nieces and nephews than I can count. Most of them look me up periodically on the internet, and this hit is something I’ve already heard about.

    Can you do me a big, big favor and change the word “asshole” to something else? Honest, the word doesn’t bother me (obviously, if you’ve read my fiction), and I don’t mind being called what I most likely am, but my family has never read such a thing about me. I’d be much obliged. If you can’t do this, well so be it. To be sure I’m always working in the service of my students and fellow students and producers of literature.

    Best to you,


  2. Ennui Prayer

    I pondered the day when you would comment on this, but I never thought it would happen. I’ll gladly change it. It was to no offense, to be frank. In this case, the term was used because if you weren’t one, I don’t think the book would’ve have been as great as it was.

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