The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin’ lawmen,
feelin’ their notches.

For decent church-goin’ women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for “Kill a Queer for
Christ” stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody’s allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories– all right let’s see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.

Today, while you’re eating your bird or tofu subsitute, think about what today should really stand for. Think about the families torn assunder by a needless war. Think of the children orphaned by our terrible and downright god awful leader. Think about the homeless who wander the street in search for their next meal. Think about all the things we take for granted.

And after you think about all the wrong in the world, you can truly and finally count your blessings. Because without the ugly rearing its head into our lives, we might not stop and take a look at all the beauty. So enjoy today in any mannerism you choose to and be happy with what you have – be thankful for good health, good times and future blessings.


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