When Ennui gets the better of us

I started writing a short story Saturday night and finished it Sunday. It’s actually a short story I wrote a few years ago revamped because after it being rejected from a student magazine, I sat down and read through it to see what I could fix. I realized it was actually two stories in one so I just split it. I wrote what I’m calling The Poet Story because I’m still working on it Saturday. I changed a lot of it because I wasn’t buying the whole kidnapping storyline from the original. And the dialogue is still giving me problems. Philosopher and a friend said it was natural flow and I believe them, but I’m still going to work on it.

[…] “Holy shit,” I said. “Is this your friend?”
“Yeah,” he said, inspecting his keys. “His name is—was—Dick Masters.”
“Doesn’t ring a bell,” I said. “What happened to him?”
“Nothing. Well,” he said, “nothing other than the fact I shot him.”
“Dead?”
“Not at first, no. It took two bullets to plug him.”[…]

I kept the name Dick Masters because, while it feels so fake, I still like it. I might change it if need be, but who knows. Other than that, the two still venture into La Colonia to dispose of the body, much like the original. I subtracted the Amie characer from the story because while I loved the fact that Character Unknown and her meet up during such a traumatic time, I didn’t feel that she was shaped out enough. I’ll just have to put her in a story of her own like I had originally planned.

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