The Comeback Queen

Okay, those who know me well enough are probably scratching their heads why on earth I chose to write about Britney Spears rather than something or someone more important. And those who know me already know that I don’t care about Spears enough to even care what’s going on in her real life or if she’s got her shit together so she can finally be a good mother to her kids.

But this really has little to do with Spears and more to do with music in general. Jyg said something about Spears’s new single, “Womanizer,” that I’ve been pondering since the earworm was first introduced to me via VH1 as I was lying down on a hospital bed. I’ve known that Britney Spears was attempting a comeback since last year, and we all remember the infamous video by that tranny whose name escapes me at the moment. You know the video I’m talking about – the leave Britney alone video. But with her last “comeback” single before she vanished again into obscurity for a year – “Gimme More” (I had to look this one up, by the way) – and this year’s “comeback” single, “Womanizer,” have but one thing in common: Britney Spears seems to have lost all ability to sing.

Now I was never a fan of Britney Spears from the get go, though a certain post grunge high school friend of mine was – side story, real quick: Said friend had put Britney’s first album (you know the one where she’s dolled up to look like a school girl so that older perverts will buy her CD so they can get off on it) on his Xmas list and I’m the buffoon who purchased it for him, which gave me an awkward list of CDs that I was buying at once for other friends which included Marilyn Manson, Goo Goo Dolls, Korn, Metallica and Britney Spears debut pink album. So the first album was the only album I ever bought and it wasn’t even for me and to this day I still refuse to buy anything Spears related to for my niece who adored the “innocent” Britney back in the day.

But I can admit that I’ve heard the first singles that Spears had when I was in high school because our school radio was stuck on a pop station rather something with actual significance. And in those days she was actually singing, not merely speaking, hoping to catch a melody in the process. Now don’t get me wrong, there are several musicians who do this and I’m not singling Spears out because she’s something that I’ve been against since I was a puny teenager – I’m still short, but I’ve added a couple of pounds (this, by the way, should not be contested as it will only make me sad).

As Jyg pointed out what I’d been pondering for a short period of time, I was taken to a scene from El Mariachi where El orders a soda and remarks how he doesn’t drink because alcohol will rasp his voice – or at least I think it’s from this movie. I wonder if Spears’s partying days can be held responsible for her not so singy voice.

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