Home Alone on Halloween

My staples were removed yesterday. The hole where the Jackson Pratt drain was placed last week is sealed up. However, while I’ve been going out (like to the doctor’s and the hospital to make arrangements to pay for my surgery and stay), I don’t think I’ll have the strength to last a Halloween party or a trip to the bookstore. Instead, I’m home alone reading: story of my fucking life.

I’m not sure how one deals with the after surgery week. It’s been a week. It was a week Thursday. And now I’m here, staring at my computer screen, every once in a while, picking up Tolkien. I thought about watching scary movies, but my eyes hurt. I thought about taking a walk, but what if I get weak? I thought about calling friends, but what will I say? I’m bored here, at home, alone, reading The Silmarillion.

I haven’t even voted yet, but now there’s not chance until election day. I never vote on election day. I early vote. I hate lines. I hate bastards who bitch about waiting so long. I’m one of them, but I have reason. Since early voting started, I’ve felt like shit – What’s your excuse? All this week I’ve dedicated my time to watching the entire trilogy of The Lord of the Rings – and not the theatrical releases, but the extended versions. I’ve really nerd it up. The Matrix trilogy is there waiting for me as well. I feel like watching Sin City, though. I feel like going out. I feel like if I do this stuff, I would feel better, but I know myself. I’ll be out and then I’ll start feeling week.

I should’ve pushed myself to go to Jyg’s sister’s Halloween party. I was going to dress up in a gorilla mask and gloves with a blazer, a nice shirt, slacks and dress shoes. When asked what I was supposed to be, I was going to either reply, “A republican,” or “A McCain supporter.” Jyg’s brother-in-law, by the way, is both. I don’t know. If I had gone and if I had gotten sick then there would be conflict somewhere in the night and I’m too weak to deal with conflict. I hate conflict.

Oh well, I think I hear Tolkien calling me again.


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