The Electric Boogaloo

I was wheeled to my room at the Edinburg Hospital – 323 – and the orderly stood a moment pondering how to get the stretcher near the bed so I can wiggle over. After realizing it would be impossible, he asked me if I could walk the few steps over to the bed. I laughed, “I could’ve walked the whole way here.”

I settled in, watched some TV – they had no Cartoon Network for my after surgery recovery entertainment; they had Nick and they had Disney, but no Cartoon Network, which means, no Adult Swim which means no Family Guy – was visited by Jyg who said she left early to visit me. Her being there meant mother can go home and eat  rather than just stay around and continue to worry about me and the impending surgery. I called Philosopher to tell her, even though I suspected she guessed I’d be there anyway. Calling her would ensure that Doll and Binx would know that I was going to be staying there because that’s the grape vine. Had I called anyone of them, it would ensure it, but I only have her number stored in my memory as I was lacking my cell phone.

My nurse, Melissa, checked my vitals. Around 6:45PM, I was hulled off to the OR by another nurse. Melissa helped. As I was leaving, I was asked, by Melissa, if I had any piercings anywhere one my body, including my tongue and belly button. I said that I’ve never had anything pierced before.

At 7:00PM, in the OR, I could hear Bill O’Reilly talking on some TV on the other side. I’m taken care of by a nurse, talked to by anesthesiologist and my surgeron. I sign the consent forms and I’m done with. They wheel me down to the operation room and the last thing I remember seeing before it all goes black is a board and the narrow bed, which I’m wiggled onto. An arm board is opened and my left arm is placed on it. My final thought is, “Hey, they have one of these things on Nip/Tuck.”

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