“Yes I eat cow – I am not proud…” (Nirvana)


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Originally uploaded by surlygrrrl [ELBfoto]

Keep it to yourself Kurt, I am proud of my cow diet. I know there are a lot more non-animal feeders out there who say it’s cruel to eat animals, and I solute you, but I’m not one of you and no matter how much propaganda you throw in my face, I’m going to continue on my path of eating meat. Why? Because I fucking like it.

Sometimes last year, El Senor and I were having lunch together at the cubicles at the university center when the president – or at least I think she was the president – of the vegan organization on campus decided to slap down some propaganda on meat. El Senor, being El Senor, said that he wanted to know what they do to the meat because it was so damn tasty. I laughed. The girl responded by giving us condoms, to which El asked for more because it was the weekend. El, I later learned, gave these condoms to his son – I bet you wish you had a cool father like him, don’t ya?

Anyway, earlier last year, before this incident, I overheard the vegan organization talking about an incident that happened. They held a sidewalk campaign announcing a movie they were going to show sometime during the week. A few not so nice jerks decided to write comments and basically make fun of them using their own words and pictures. The group was a little upset over it. One of them said, “People don’t like it when you’re telling them they’re living the wrong lifestyle.”

Wait. Eating meat is the “wrong” lifestyle? I beg to differ.

Later, I made a lot of jokes during our meeting in order to make light of the situation. They overheard the jokes and came to us bitching us out. Nice one. Way to be the bigger person. I think the fact that we were still our normal selves made them even more upset. Apparently, the older officers expected this from me because they knew I could be quite the asshole.

I have a headache. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. I’m all for you all not wearing fur because I personally don’t like fur, not because I think it’s inhumane. One vegan went as far as telling me, “How would you like it if you were stripped of your skin?” I replied that only psychotic people would do that, so please give me another example. With that, he thought he won the argument. I continued to throw Bible verses at him – he was religious – that stated that what he was doing was pretty much not accepting God’s gifts, etc. Again, he made some asinine comment by asking me if I would allow someone to eat me. Again, I’m human and if a human were to eat me, then that’s illegal. Again he thought he won. I sighed. “Why don’t you go cut yourself, swim into shark infested waters, and see how nice these creatures are to you?”

He called me a name and said that he didn’t have time to deal with the likes of me – I’m assuming, a person who can point out the flaws in his arguements.

Again, you all have the right not to eat meat, and I’m not going to sneak a cheeseburger into your salad. I expect the same respect in return. But no, you have to go out there and say meat is murder, throw red paint on people for wearing fur, condemn fast food chains because they serve meat, etc. There’s only so much a person can do before he’s fed up with that shit.

Now, if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go cook me some tasty cow tacos.

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2 responses to ““Yes I eat cow – I am not proud…” (Nirvana)

  1. I like to chew on beef jerky when vegetarians and animal activists try to convince me that cows are our friends.

    “Yes, I hear what you’re saying, and I know that the animals aren’t taken care of, but the deliciousness of this jerky makes a much stronger case than any words you could ever say.”

  2. ❤ the nirvana reference. But I totally agree. We don't hold rallies telling them to eat meat, so they shouldn't try forcing vegetarianism/veganism upon people who really don't give two shits about it. If it tastes good, I'll eat it. Give me a veggie burrito, I'll have no problem. But take the meat out of my taco and I might go off on some rant and ask for my money back.

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