They scammed the wrong guy

Ladies and gentlemen – my dear readers – I have finally been scammed by someone who fucked up royally. Actually, I’ve never been scammed, but I do get a lot of scams in the mail. They fail to note that I never once fell for any of their scams and I will continue going strong without ever falling for  a scam. However, in the mass of scam mail I get in my little mail box (I’m talking about snail mail, people) never has a scammer been so stupid not to do a little research first.

Their first mistake – and quite possibly the smallest mistake – was they addressed the scam piece to my nickname. I never buy anything under that name except magazine subscriptions, and I don’t think Esquire would sell me out like that. But the biggest mistake is that the piece of mail is a FINAL NOTICE! for my…wait for it…wait for it…

EXPIRED VEHICLE FACTORY WARRANTY!

Now if you don’t see the problem here, then you don’t know me. Since I DO NOT drive a car, there is no way in hell that my warranty has now expired. So Dealer Warranty Services of 3710 Mueller Road, St. Charles, Missouri 63301, phone number 1-800-581-1575, you done fucked up!

My readers take heart that if you receive anything from Dealer Warranty Services to throw it out and warn others. Scammers must be stopped.

Read more about their scam here.

I just called and spoke to a Brian who assured me that they are not a scam, however, I do not believe him because his voice shifted after I told him I had no car that needed warranty – well, actually that I had no car. He then asked if the card had a car on it, which it didn’t but I’m sure that’s to cover their asses. However, and I take this from the post card, it says:

Dear Valued Customer (read: Scammee),

This notice is to inform you that your vehicle’s factory warranty has expired, or may expire soon depending on your current mileage.

Take action now to protect yourself from increasingly high labor cost and unexpected repair bills! Call us IMMEDIATELY to take advantage of this final offer. You have been preselected for this exclusive offer.

So while Brian said it was just an offer and not a scam, why are they trying to “scare” me into giving up money for a nonexisting car? Hmm. Answer me that Brian.

Brian said the company is backed by Better Business Bureau, but they aren’t, according to this report. A lawsuit was filed on them for misleading their “valued customers,” which is still pending.

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8 responses to “They scammed the wrong guy

  1. philosopherintheory

    Actually, that report says that they are not BBB accredited. I get those mailers all the time and just toss them. I am pretty annoyed that they started calling my cell though.

  2. Ennui Prayer

    I tell you, my mind is not working today.

  3. philosopherintheory

    🙂

  4. adam reynolds

    Dude! You’re a fucking genius man. I wish I was as cool as you Ennui Prayer. I worship the ground you walk on. Please, Ennui, let’s go to California together and get married because I would so be your bitch.

  5. Adam,

    All I can say is wow. While I’m flattered, I have to say no. However, I have put you e-mail address – stag131@aol.com – on my blacklist. I apologize, but the last thing I need is some crazed stalker leaving more comments on my blog.

  6. My mother got one of those postcards in the mail today. She will be 77 in December, does not drive, and hasn’t owned a car in years. I also did some research online and I’m thinking about writing something about them, too:

    http://www.dws-us.biz/

    I was looking for an e-mail address to post online so spammers could bombard them back. Call it comeuppance, but alas, they don’t have one.

    Fortunately, my mother is not too old yet to understand a scam when she sees one. I think it’s funny, the box stating “IMMEDIATE RESPONSE REQUIRED” was checked. I wonder whether that is Under Penalty of Law.

    I found a whois search result here:

    http://reports.internic.net/cgi/whois?whois_nic=dws-us.biz&type=domain

    and a registrant e-mail address:

    DWS-US.BIZ@domainsbyproxy.com

    I figure if enough people send junk to that address, their “proxy” sponsor, godaddy.com, might complain and ask them to shop elsewhere.

  7. This seems like it could be considered mail fraud. I haven’t gotten anything in the mail from them but they call me every day, sometimes multiple times per day and ive tried to have them remove me from their call list but they won’t…

  8. Hi everyone. I actually did get scam by them! not to much but am currently trying to fight them! I want to provide actual new articles that inform the public about their fraud. I know that Jay Nixon the General Attorney took them to court along side some other extended warranty companies. I saw the piece of the article but can not find the actual article. Can any one help??? Help me!!!!

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