“Why you think the net was born?” (Avenue Q)

There’s a lot of debate again in various blogs about internet porn. I’m not sure if that debate ever really died down, but there’s a lot of hate going around by people who think porn is a danger to our society. And that last sentence is going to drive a lot of people to probably comment (if they read it) on how it is the seed that causes rape, that distorts real relationships and so on and so forth. I have to, however, disagree greatly because what they’re saying is what someone else said in the past and they’re just repeating like parrots on the shoulder of their one-eyed master (trust, I meant no pun by this, although, it would be something I would say).

So, is pornography a danger to our society? Unless porn is out there holding guns to the backs of rapists forcing them to submit women and take them any which way, the answer is a flat out no. Does rape exploit women? Again, unless producers are holding guns and making women take it every which way, the answer once again is no. Does it distort the minds of young Americans about sex? That’s a gray area. A lot of people like to blame the mass media for our problems. School shooting? Let’s blame Marilyn Manson and a few movies. Girl gets raped? Oh, that must be the influence of pornographic movies. But what about priests molesting altar boys? What then do we blame? The only thing they touch, theoretically, is the Bible. Does the Bible practice underage sex? (Please, don’t answer that.)

You can’t go around telling the government to remove sex from the internet because your children well get to it. The government isn’t your babysitter. It isn’t an entity that is supposed to wipe clean your house of filth. That is your responsibility. If you don’t want your child watching porn online, then take the measures yourself. Buy some parental control software to hinder this from happening. That’s way simpler than whining online, signing petitions. Or you could do the old fashion thing, oh I don’t, be a parent for a change.

All these people come around and they want someone else to raise their kids. They don’t want their kids to learn about safe sex in school, yet don’t bother to sit down with them and tell them it’s better to wait than to jump the gun. This isn’t the 50’s, by the way. Sex is everywhere and if you prevent your child from learning the precautions, you’ll wind up like Sarah Palin and nobody wants to wind up like Sarah Palin – she’s a fucking moron!

But I digress.

My mother said something to another parent, or perhaps my aunt or some relative about my choice in music. My mother used to buy me Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Korn, pretty much anything with a parental advisory sticker on the jewel case. When asked why she allowed me to listen to such filth, she simply said, “If I don’t, he’ll just get it somewhere else.” This left me with very little to rebel against. Now, I’m not saying you should just let you whatever-teen year old kid look at smut online; I’m just saying, you should put down the work responsibilities and be a parent once in a while.

My mother also once told me that a person who doesn’t have time to do a hobby – she said garden as we were talking about a mother of one of my relationships – then you’re spending too much time working. My mother is far from a lax person. She’s worker and I wonder why it is that didn’t rub off on me. She works hard and works long hours, but she always finds to do things she loves to do. And one of those things was being my mother. She didn’t look to the government to raise me and what I can and cannot watch, she did it herself. Call her old fashion (she’s been a mother since the 70’s), but she was far better a parent than the ones who whine about internet porn (which she’s against, but doesn’t think it should be removed).

And gray area, in which distorts the values of adult relationships, is what most people like to fling at others who support pornography. If you cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy, then you have serious issues to look into. It’s unhealthy and has nothing to do with porn itself. Seriously, there are people who commit suicide because a WoW character was killed off. There are people who go to shopping malls and for no apparent reason, start shooting it up. There was even one guy who had a car chase because he loved video game. That is unhealthy. It has nothing to do with parenting or viewing things; it has to do with how one’s mind works.

Now I’m not saying pornography is healthy. It is, in small doses. There’s a whole theory behind addiction that Marilyn Manson (yes, I’m using him) wrote in his book. If you’re using drugs (cos that’s what he wrote) and you’re paying for them, guess what! you’re addict. Chuck Klosterman said something about drug addiction and CD jewel cases. If there is ever a chance that you simply don’t care about which CD case you grab to snort coke, then you’re addict. I think the same rules apply with pornography. If you’re willing to buy it rather than just get off on some porn website that holds free videos, or getting off to really fucked up porn, then I’m sorry, you, sir or ma’am, are an addict and should seek help.

It’s possible to get addicted to several things. Porn is not just the ugly head that rears into our lives. There’s other addictions. Some of them are perfectly legal, such alcohol and cigarettes. Those cause way more harm than pornography does to our society. I have an addiction to books. It’s harmless, the only thing that suffers is my bank account. I also have an addiction to caffiene. It only harms my body. I’ve heard people who have addictions to masturbation and don’t use porn. There are a lot of things that cause addictions and problems in our society – are you going to outlaw all of them? Good luck.

We live in a land where people are free, just as long as they don’t hurt anyone, involve a child in it, or a beast, to do what they want. That’s the joy. That’s the pride. We can take safety of knowing we can look online and see several naked women or men doing things we only fantasize about. And that’s the key world. It’s fantasy. Again, not saying it might not cause a problem, but just as long as you can avoid getting hit by a fucking car, you can avoid getting addicted. Small doses, remember?

So let’s go over this, shall we? People should stop looking at the government to do their parenting. Parents should parent, end of story. Now, I know for a fact that some kids, teens, are looking at porn. Get parental software. However, like dear old mother knew, your kid will gain somehow. And this is where being a parent pays off. Talk to you kids about sex. Talk to them soon. Tell them the difference between fantasy and reality. Tell them how porn isn’t made for them. Tell them and set boundaries.

Again, be a parent for a change.


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