“Remember when I was so strange and likeable?” (Tegan & Sara)

Heartbeats hurt
You have my
Chest full
Of cold night air in my lungs
Limping on two legs 

Don’t you think that I’ve been giving up.

I thought about it. Somethings need more concentration than others and I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. The urge to leave the Valley has never been so big before, but this place feels so small again. I feel suffocated. My energy is nearing zero. And it’s not exercise, you know who you are. It’s more of a mental exhaustion. I feel trapped. I don’t like feeling trapped. I’m okay. I’m not sad. Not right now. I get this way. But right now I think the only reason I feel so suffocated is because I’m not writing as much as I used to. Half of this is good because most of the writings were crap and the other pieces were turned into something better. So I sat down a few nights and started writing emotions, pieces of memories of the break up. I collected the entire lot of memories in my journal, past blogs and my legs (don’t ask, it’s best left unsaid). We’ll see how that turns out. I have an idea of what I want to write, but I just need to figure out how to do it so it’s not bad.

And let this steal your childhood as it has taken mine.


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