Russell Brand, The Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks & Mike Galanos walked into a bordello…

Screwin’ may be the only way
that I can truly be free from my fucked up reality
So I dream and stroke it harder,
’cause it’s so fun to see my face staring back at me
I don’t know your fucking name, so what, let’s fuck

(uncensored song)

So last night Russell Brand hosted the MTV Video Music Awards and if you’re like most of America, you don’t know who the fuck that is. He made some “lewd” comments about the Jonas Brothers being virgins and wearing promise rings. Jordin Sparks – whoever the fuck that is – attacked him on it to which he latered retracted his words and apologize.

Now I hate manufactured bands and that’s what the Jonas Brothers are, something that the Disney corporation to sell on the streets to the young teenie boppers who salivate at the mouth whenever they see one of them on Teen Beat or whatever the equivalent of that magazine is called. They have no real talent and they will never be crediable and will more than likely be forgotten within a few years when the next manufactured band comes in.

But Mike Galanos of CNN Headline News seems to have missed the apology, and goes all out to attack Mr. Brand, who is a British comedian, a type of performer that Americans rarely get and especially if you have a stick up your ass. So here we have a quasi-famous comedian from the UK trashing a band who has no talent, but are whored out to the public because they are the clean and carefree alternative to say, I don’t know, Miley Cryus (from what I know, no half nude, half explicit photos of the brothers have appeared online).

However, despite the fact that Galanos is a prude and has no sense of humor whatsoever, he does pose the interesting question that is on every mind of every teenager (possibly a fan of the Jonas Brothers) in America: Is it uncool to be a virgin? The answer is (drum roll please) yes. It is very unpopular to be a virgin, but who cares? So what if one man from the UK told ripped the Jonas Brothers a new one because they wore promise rings? He also called the president of the United States a retarded cowboy, but Galanos doesn’t attack him on that. No, instead he mulls around and attacks Brand for a band that will not be remembering in the coming years, granted that Brand was not lying about the Bush jab. Let’s face it, most of this country voted for someone who was completely unfit to be the leader of a country, not once but twice.

So Mike Galanos, what is it that bothered you so much about Brand’s sense of humor? The fact that you don’t have one? Perhaps it’s the fact you feel attacked because you were a high school virgin and you still hold on to the ideals of the past. Sure, it’s probably better if you wait until marriage to have sex. With the scare of diseases out there, it may be the a damned good decision. I didn’t, though I took my precautions when having sex, but some don’t. Some also don’t know that safe sex exist (ahem, Bristol Palin for instance) because of abstience only programs, which rarely work in this society.

Who’s to blame? Pop culture for the bumping and grinding, making bands like the Jonas Brothers into sex symbols for the young Americans? Or do we blame the parents and school districts (abstience only programs) about the whole thing because they don’t know that there are alteratives to sex? The media who blows things out of proportion? Or the kids themselves? I’m sure the Jonas Brothers didn’t just say, we’re gonna band but we’re expected not to be the typical teenager so no sex. No. It was a personal choice. They don’t want to have sex, and their peers might. But don’t think for a second that those promise rings on their fingers will alter the minds of their listeners. It’s a personal choice. Praise the kids who don’t have sex before marriage, but don’t call the ones who do a slut, Jordin Sparks – whoever you are. Because that just makes you just as ignorant as the person you thought was ignorant, okay?

The same goes Galanos. Please remove that phalic stick from your ass and stick to the news. If I wanted an opinion, I’d watch the real CNN channel.

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One response to “Russell Brand, The Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks & Mike Galanos walked into a bordello…

  1. Pingback: Another Brand/Sparks post « The Life of Ennui Prayer

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