BBQ Mishaps

My brother Bart (short for bartender, so not his read name) had a gala for his son. All his friends were invited but because I never saw the kid, I decided to go ahead and attend. Jyg accompanied me to this because mother was working and I had a feeling that Gib (older brother) would be a no show. I expected hell and got just that. I knew no one there other than my nieces and nephews, brother and sister-in-law. There was this woman going about how my oldest niece (from that family) couldn’t play with a sparkler unless her hair was tied up. I saw no problem with her loose hair but whatever, I’m not a parent – apparently neither was she. As she was going on about how important that my three-year-old niece should put up her hair so she couldn’t catch fire, she’s plotting to dowse her in an alcohol based hair product. What the fuck?! I swear, there’s something about short haired women that carry a sense of stupidity. Whatever.

After a while, Jyg gets hungry. All is alright because my brother’s making food, right? Wrong. Apparently some punk kid decided to make way with my brother’s grill. Not pit, but JUST his grill. Scratching your heads with that one? Good, so am I. Because this will delay my brother’s excellent BBQing skills, Jyg and I opt for getting out because, lets face it, the house is now teeming with children all making noise and more people are appearing out of the woodwork. We get Chinese.

Before leaving, however, I give Bart my cell phone number because I want to be able to get some food later to take home to mother who missed the gala. So after Chinese food, Jyg and I head over to Hastings which is right across the street where we read magazines and wiat. No phone call. Ten minutes before closing, mother calls and I report to her the events of the day. She then calls my brother and learns from my sister-in-law that the food has been ready for a while and that we weren’t told because my brother – the drinker, and you’ll hear so many more stories about him later – forgot to call me. Whatever, I think, we’re going home. We watched a movie instead.


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