“I’d break the back of love for you” (Placebo)

What I need is a good defense
‘Cause I’m feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I’ve sinned against

I’m feeling really shitty right now. My thoughts have buried me and I’m being crushed by all the weight of everything. Sometimes I do things without thinking. Once I thought about jumping out of a car, but the thought of death was not what I had in mind. I would’ve been no different than the kitten I saw on the expressway driving home from the beach a month ago – has it been a month already? – pawing up at the sky in desparate plea for someone to stop and spare its life.

Tonight, I will shower. Tonight, I will take pills to kill the pain in my back. Tonight, I will tuck myself into bed and dream. Dream about what I will do. Dream about what I have done. Dream about what path I have to choose.

Tomorrow’s a new day.


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