Exploitation is wrong, unless it’s funny…then it’s just funny

People need to grow a sense of humor rather than bash what’s funny because they don’t think it’s funny. There’s a lot of whiners in this world and they’ve found their way to WordPress. We can laugh at pictures like of stupid answers, but the moment we turn it around and laugh at something a sixth grader wrote, well, we’re in the wrong. Bleh. People are stupid. So what if “trucky niggets” is now available online for all to read? It’s not different than the good ol’ days when you would send something your kid did to Bob Saget  and get aired on national television – “Hey, look Junior’s on TV and he’s playing football in the house. Oh no, watch for that wall Junior – oh har har har!” But no one thought that was pushing it, because everyone loved America’s Funniest Home Videos and it was integrated into our pop culture. But the moment a paper is scanned and posted online, well there’s hell to pay because now not only does it show the entire world just how bad our education system is, but it also…wait, that’s the only thing.

The lack of a sense of humor in this country appalls me, but watching a couple of jackass wannabes on Youtube put a Roman candle up their friend’s ass, well that’s just comedy. Most of them are teens themselves, just a few years older than the Trucky Niggets kid. Of course, you’re laughing your ass off, rolling on the floor, ain’t ya, buddy? But people have to cry, curse and damn because they don’t have the same sense of humor as other people and therefore those other people must be wrong and must be damned. What do I know? I still laugh at the little girl falling off the swing joke. To this day, that still a classic joke for me.

The Comeback Queen

Okay, those who know me well enough are probably scratching their heads why on earth I chose to write about Britney Spears rather than something or someone more important. And those who know me already know that I don’t care about Spears enough to even care what’s going on in her real life or if she’s got her shit together so she can finally be a good mother to her kids.

But this really has little to do with Spears and more to do with music in general. Jyg said something about Spears’s new single, “Womanizer,” that I’ve been pondering since the earworm was first introduced to me via VH1 as I was lying down on a hospital bed. I’ve known that Britney Spears was attempting a comeback since last year, and we all remember the infamous video by that tranny whose name escapes me at the moment. You know the video I’m talking about – the leave Britney alone video. But with her last “comeback” single before she vanished again into obscurity for a year – “Gimme More” (I had to look this one up, by the way) – and this year’s “comeback” single, “Womanizer,” have but one thing in common: Britney Spears seems to have lost all ability to sing.

Now I was never a fan of Britney Spears from the get go, though a certain post grunge high school friend of mine was – side story, real quick: Said friend had put Britney’s first album (you know the one where she’s dolled up to look like a school girl so that older perverts will buy her CD so they can get off on it) on his Xmas list and I’m the buffoon who purchased it for him, which gave me an awkward list of CDs that I was buying at once for other friends which included Marilyn Manson, Goo Goo Dolls, Korn, Metallica and Britney Spears debut pink album. So the first album was the only album I ever bought and it wasn’t even for me and to this day I still refuse to buy anything Spears related to for my niece who adored the “innocent” Britney back in the day.

But I can admit that I’ve heard the first singles that Spears had when I was in high school because our school radio was stuck on a pop station rather something with actual significance. And in those days she was actually singing, not merely speaking, hoping to catch a melody in the process. Now don’t get me wrong, there are several musicians who do this and I’m not singling Spears out because she’s something that I’ve been against since I was a puny teenager – I’m still short, but I’ve added a couple of pounds (this, by the way, should not be contested as it will only make me sad).

As Jyg pointed out what I’d been pondering for a short period of time, I was taken to a scene from El Mariachi where El orders a soda and remarks how he doesn’t drink because alcohol will rasp his voice – or at least I think it’s from this movie. I wonder if Spears’s partying days can be held responsible for her not so singy voice.

Just when you thought it was safe to enter a theater again…

…some jerk off thinks it’s a good idea to make another The Fast and the Furious sequel. I have to admit, and at many times I don’t, that I liked the original movie – the first part, that is. I saw it probably after high school graduation and we broke the law by sneaking in and watching the film. However, the movie spawned two sequels with a third arriving in theaters next summer. The only upside to this fourth installment is that the original characters/actors (you know the ones that didn’t die) return. And what are they doing? The exact same shit they did in the first one. Wasn’t there a lesson to be learned here? Apparently not. 

Don’t get me wrong, I like stupid movies as much as the next guy because stupid movies are brain candy, mental masturbation; call it what you want, but I know I don’t like to think. However, these sort of movies are good in small doses and should never spawn a franchise. Okay. There. I said it. Now enjoy the trailer if you haven’t already.

“Why you think the net was born?” (Avenue Q)

There’s a lot of debate again in various blogs about internet porn. I’m not sure if that debate ever really died down, but there’s a lot of hate going around by people who think porn is a danger to our society. And that last sentence is going to drive a lot of people to probably comment (if they read it) on how it is the seed that causes rape, that distorts real relationships and so on and so forth. I have to, however, disagree greatly because what they’re saying is what someone else said in the past and they’re just repeating like parrots on the shoulder of their one-eyed master (trust, I meant no pun by this, although, it would be something I would say).

So, is pornography a danger to our society? Unless porn is out there holding guns to the backs of rapists forcing them to submit women and take them any which way, the answer is a flat out no. Does rape exploit women? Again, unless producers are holding guns and making women take it every which way, the answer once again is no. Does it distort the minds of young Americans about sex? That’s a gray area. A lot of people like to blame the mass media for our problems. School shooting? Let’s blame Marilyn Manson and a few movies. Girl gets raped? Oh, that must be the influence of pornographic movies. But what about priests molesting altar boys? What then do we blame? The only thing they touch, theoretically, is the Bible. Does the Bible practice underage sex? (Please, don’t answer that.)

You can’t go around telling the government to remove sex from the internet because your children well get to it. The government isn’t your babysitter. It isn’t an entity that is supposed to wipe clean your house of filth. That is your responsibility. If you don’t want your child watching porn online, then take the measures yourself. Buy some parental control software to hinder this from happening. That’s way simpler than whining online, signing petitions. Or you could do the old fashion thing, oh I don’t, be a parent for a change.

All these people come around and they want someone else to raise their kids. They don’t want their kids to learn about safe sex in school, yet don’t bother to sit down with them and tell them it’s better to wait than to jump the gun. This isn’t the 50’s, by the way. Sex is everywhere and if you prevent your child from learning the precautions, you’ll wind up like Sarah Palin and nobody wants to wind up like Sarah Palin – she’s a fucking moron!

But I digress.

My mother said something to another parent, or perhaps my aunt or some relative about my choice in music. My mother used to buy me Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Korn, pretty much anything with a parental advisory sticker on the jewel case. When asked why she allowed me to listen to such filth, she simply said, “If I don’t, he’ll just get it somewhere else.” This left me with very little to rebel against. Now, I’m not saying you should just let you whatever-teen year old kid look at smut online; I’m just saying, you should put down the work responsibilities and be a parent once in a while.

My mother also once told me that a person who doesn’t have time to do a hobby – she said garden as we were talking about a mother of one of my relationships – then you’re spending too much time working. My mother is far from a lax person. She’s worker and I wonder why it is that didn’t rub off on me. She works hard and works long hours, but she always finds to do things she loves to do. And one of those things was being my mother. She didn’t look to the government to raise me and what I can and cannot watch, she did it herself. Call her old fashion (she’s been a mother since the 70’s), but she was far better a parent than the ones who whine about internet porn (which she’s against, but doesn’t think it should be removed).

And gray area, in which distorts the values of adult relationships, is what most people like to fling at others who support pornography. If you cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy, then you have serious issues to look into. It’s unhealthy and has nothing to do with porn itself. Seriously, there are people who commit suicide because a WoW character was killed off. There are people who go to shopping malls and for no apparent reason, start shooting it up. There was even one guy who had a car chase because he loved video game. That is unhealthy. It has nothing to do with parenting or viewing things; it has to do with how one’s mind works.

Now I’m not saying pornography is healthy. It is, in small doses. There’s a whole theory behind addiction that Marilyn Manson (yes, I’m using him) wrote in his book. If you’re using drugs (cos that’s what he wrote) and you’re paying for them, guess what! you’re addict. Chuck Klosterman said something about drug addiction and CD jewel cases. If there is ever a chance that you simply don’t care about which CD case you grab to snort coke, then you’re addict. I think the same rules apply with pornography. If you’re willing to buy it rather than just get off on some porn website that holds free videos, or getting off to really fucked up porn, then I’m sorry, you, sir or ma’am, are an addict and should seek help.

It’s possible to get addicted to several things. Porn is not just the ugly head that rears into our lives. There’s other addictions. Some of them are perfectly legal, such alcohol and cigarettes. Those cause way more harm than pornography does to our society. I have an addiction to books. It’s harmless, the only thing that suffers is my bank account. I also have an addiction to caffiene. It only harms my body. I’ve heard people who have addictions to masturbation and don’t use porn. There are a lot of things that cause addictions and problems in our society – are you going to outlaw all of them? Good luck.

We live in a land where people are free, just as long as they don’t hurt anyone, involve a child in it, or a beast, to do what they want. That’s the joy. That’s the pride. We can take safety of knowing we can look online and see several naked women or men doing things we only fantasize about. And that’s the key world. It’s fantasy. Again, not saying it might not cause a problem, but just as long as you can avoid getting hit by a fucking car, you can avoid getting addicted. Small doses, remember?

So let’s go over this, shall we? People should stop looking at the government to do their parenting. Parents should parent, end of story. Now, I know for a fact that some kids, teens, are looking at porn. Get parental software. However, like dear old mother knew, your kid will gain somehow. And this is where being a parent pays off. Talk to you kids about sex. Talk to them soon. Tell them the difference between fantasy and reality. Tell them how porn isn’t made for them. Tell them and set boundaries.

Again, be a parent for a change.

OMG! Did you hear?! Clay’s gay?!

Were you surprised that Clay Aiken’s gay?  A few years when he exploded into the scene like a razzle dazzle star, I automatically said, “The guy’s gay.” Jyg later made a crack about his I-haven’t-found-the-right-girl-yet reason for his being single by saying, “Yeah, cos he’s looking for one with a penis.” And not that there’s anything wrong with it, but if you’re gay, you’re gay. No ifs or buts (no pun intended) about it. So why do you hide it? 

Well, I wasn’t surprised at all when I saw on the internet he came out of the closet. Even Drunken Stepfather had a comment about it by stating on his blog: “Clay Aiken: I’m gay. Us: No Shit!” So how did some take the news?

“This is really shocking news as I had no idea he was gay,” read a comment posted by “Sheridansq.” “And now I have to deal with this. I am not sure what to say to people who know I was a fan. … I didn’t go to work today and am not answering the telephone.” (source)

How did you not know Sheridansq?! The guy’s best friend was a very feminine dog! And again, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with his being a homosexual because the more the merrier! I think being gay is just as big of a deal like say, I can walk. I don’t care, you don’t care. My ability to walk doesn’t hinder your life and Clay being gay doesn’t affect any of us because he’s not us. He’s himself. 

But for you reading this (if you’re a claymate), I want to know your reaction. I swear, the humiliation will not be brutal. 

“Art and love are the same thing…” (Chuck Klosterman)

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I’m no good

I’ve been told I live like I’m living in a movie. I was told that when I was with Jessica by Jessica and I resented her for it at the time, but lately I realized that she might have been so far away from the truth. Only, I realized I lived vicariously through books, not celluloid. 

I’ve never been so absorbed by a nonfiction book like I have with Chuck Klosterman’s Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story. It’s a book “about love, death, driving, narcissism, America, the ill-advised glamorization of recreational drug use, not having sex, eating bread sticks at Olive Garden, talking to strangers, feeling nostalgic for the extremely recent past, movies you’ve never seen, KISS, Radiohead, Rod Stewart, and—to a lesser extent—prehistoric elephants of the Midwestern plains” (v). 

From reading this book, I’ve learned a few essential things that all people who live in this country and love rock ‘n’ roll should know:

1. Radiohead’s Kid A is eeriely the anthem of 9/11.
2. Chuck Klosterman’s not a serious guy and it makes me feel that, like with Wonderboys, I’m doomed to be just like him.
3. Kurt Cobain never slept under any goddamn bridge, but it’s okay that he was lying to us because he was a rock star.
4. Kurt Cobain was an asshole.
5. Rock stars die tragically (and at times, ironically).
6. Any rock star who doesn’t die tragically doesn’t mean serious business.
7. Drugs are fun and Spin has two factions of people – those who use cannabis and those who use cocaine.
8. I’m never going to try cocaine because, unlike Klosterman, my heart probably will explode.
9. Driving alone seems rather lonely, except when you have apparitions of women you love hanging out with you, arguing how you don’t get an Eric Clapton song.
10. I quite possibly have Cotard’s syndrome. 

It’s a great book and I loved reading it because it made me feel – finally – that I’m not alone in the world (and that I sort of do exist). So what are you doing just sitting there and reading this. Go on and buy yourself a copy. Or if you live in a 10 mile radius to me, I’ll lend you my copy.

 

I will leave you with a quote that got me in the book. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

 

Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you. It’s understanding the unreasonable. (217)

Fads and Lifestyles

Push me
And then just touch me
Till I can get my
Satisfaction

 

Buy-sexual

I remember a few years ago a whole bunch of teens my age were becoming “Jesus Freaks” because of a book and the mainstream (and oddly enough, Christian) media was whoring it out more than Natalie Dylan is at this moment. Those very same Jesus Freaks have all fallen into obscurity. Most of them giving up on their religious, I-love-Jesus bullshit a year after the fad came to a bitter end (I’m not saying that all Jesus Freaks went down this path, but a nice majority did). It was again no longer cool to be perceived to be Christian. So while all the real Christians went off to be Christians, the posers went on to have sex, do a lot of drugs, and have more sex while doing drugs (the outcome of which came out nine months later in the form of a welfare baby). 

Earlier, and my purpose for writing this wasn’t to promote Jesus Freaks or anything like it, I was watching VH1. Granted I was born into the MTV generation – I didn’t have MTV or VH1 growing up – so I’m not one to who is motivated to watch VH1 unless something catches my eye. Tonight, that was Women Seeking Women: A Bicurious Journey. While the person whose story they were reporting was an older lady (meaning older than me, not an old woman), it struck a cord with me. 

 

Bisexual couple (ABC News)

How dare VH1 put this on display in such a way when the new generation of kids are all claiming to bisexuality. This sort of thing has the same damning consequences like the poser Jesus Freaks back in the day. 

 

I came out of the closet – was I ever really in the closet? – my freshmen year in high school. I wasn’t greeted by like minded individuals, but by assholes and homophobes who equated bisexual to just sucking some guy’s cock. Threats were made and insults passed, but I’d rather live that life than have some snot nose kid to put his arm around me and say, “Hey man, it’s cool. I’m bisexual, too. I’ve been so since I was a kid.”

First of all, sexuality isn’t something you have as a kid, at least not quite. I was born different, I tell you that now. I was a strange kid and I did strange things, thought strange thoughts. It’s apart of my personality. But did I think I was attracted to boys? Of course not. Who is really ever attracted to anyone as a kid? Sure there’s puppy love, but do you really fantasize about jumping someone’s bones when you only in kindergarten? Saying yes, will only give an argument to more disgusting acts that I won’t even cover here, because that’s the topic of conversation. 

It never fails, though. I go onto MyYearbook and see all these snot nose kids claiming bisexuality as if it there new idea. With forum titles like “OMG, I’m Bisexual what should I do?” that deal with these kids figuring “out that there is a really good chance that im bi,” you have to understand why someone like me is just a little peeved about it. 

So why the sudden urge to wave the fence sitter flag all of a sudden? Is it popular culture that has once again influenced a sudden spark of interest with preteens (I am not joking) and teens alike? Has it finally come to the point that lifestyles aren’t just that anymore, but fads? And don’t they seem to notice that their ridicule of being bisexual only allows for former Jesus Freaks turned Fundamentalist Christians to only continue on with their quote “It’s all a choice?” 

I will admit my philosophy of bisexuality has changed so much in the past years that I no longer go by such a worn down title. Instead, when asked about my sexuality, I always just say, with an utter flare that I’m straight, but I like to consider my options. Sure, it’s just about the same thing like saying I choose to be with other guys if the opportunity presents itself, but at least I’m not calling myself bisexual anymore and making flow blown bis (if there is such a thing anymore) look like they’re liars. 

And what happens when it’s no longer cool to be bisexual anymore? What then? Well all these preteens just walk down another path that Popular Culture points to? 

I will like to hear some opinions.

All picture sources are link within the image. 

Splitsville, party of two (Hef and Holly)

Well it seems like Hef and Holly are on the path to Splitsville (damn it, I told myself I wouldn’t cry) and it’s put a dark cloud over the area. Is there any hope for any of us when two of the most superficial people in the world can’t make it? 

Because I like quoting from the books I’m reading at the time, let me quote once again from Chuck Klosterman’s Killing Yourself to Live, as it does have some relevance to the subject: 

But this is how popular culture works: You allow yourself to be convinced you’re sharing a reality that doesn’t exist. Every summer, Hollywood movie studios convince millions of people to see blockbuster movies they know they’re going to hate. Every day, shows like Access Hollywood force 2 million housewives to ask themselves, “Who really cares who Lindsay Lohan is dating?” And you know what the answer to that question is? Almost no one. There are very few Americans who honestly care who Lindsay Lohan is dating. But it’s still information they need to have. This is because those people care about something else entirely; they’re worried about the possibility of everyone else understanding something that they’re missing. (P. 61)

I mean, seriously, do you really care about this post because you need to know this information, or do you click on it because you don’t want to be left out of the water cooler conversation? For all of you who find yourself consumed by the relationships of the rich and famous, I advise you all to pick up a book, and a real one. Not some Twilight bullshit.